I made it through Valentines Day with nothing from Jimmy, he attempted to arrange for flowers to be sent to me with a card and stuff but that didn't work out... Today (a day after St. Patty's Day) I got two emails from him and even though St. Patty's Day isn't something I usually celebrate or anything it was fantastic to see "Happy St. Patty's Day" on an email from him. He didn't get a chance to call me before they left port to tell me he was going back underway so the surprise emails I got were that much more exciting!
I still can't believe I'm surviving this... wait, WE are surviving this! Since he's been underway we have hardly any contact yet we have managed to keep it together and look forward to his homecoming when we can get married and start a life together.
I have been reading other blogs and in case some ladies don't realize this, be happy you get contact with your sailors... One person I follow got emails or textmails or whatever everyday plus phone calls while her hubby was deployed (not sure how often) but since Jimmy is on a submarine we went a couple days shy of an entire month with NO contact AT ALL. That is an insanely long time to go without talking to your best friend. Granted I wrote notes every night and lots of letters that he recieved once they got to port, but I still heard nothing from him and he couldn't be there to give me advice or help me on my bad days. All I'm saying is yes, I'm sure you miss your sailors as much as I miss mine but at least some of you get waaayyyyy more contact than some of us!
Please Excuse this short rant: I realize everyone misses their significant other when they are gone but posting things like "I miss my hubby, he's been at work for 3 hours" is kind of insane to those of us trying to survive deployments and such. I'm not trying to be insensitive but there's no other way to put this... if you have yet to go through a deployment (which that person I'm talking about hasn't encountered one yet) then you kind of don't know what "missing someone" is really like! I wish I just "missed Jimmy cause he was at work or on duty for a day". Instead I have had to cry my self to sleep countless nights in an emtpy bed, waited on an email, waited on a few short calls he could make while they were in port, and I haven't seen my fiance in two months.... haven't hugged him, kissed him, cuddled with him. NOTHING. Ok, I'm done being selfish now. Sorry to anyone who found my bitching offensive.
Deployment is next to impossible at times, but one important thing I've learned recently is civilians just don't get this lifestyle and trying to talk to them or expecting advice that you want to hear is like beating a dead horse (for lack of better words). I find myself getting lost in facebook, blogs, etc. trying to meet other military spouses and reading about their experiences. It helps me realize that I'm not alone, that everything that has went on so far between Jimmy and I is pretty normal for the military lifestyle. Sometimes all it takes is just reading a blog of another woman who is feeling or was at some point feeling the same way you are and it makes you realize you are strong enough to get through this and that everything will be okay just like your sailor keeps telling you!
Jimmy is famous for telling me everything will work out and I'm the worrier out of the two of us. He is a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy and although I used to be that way I feel more comfortable having a plan for things these days... I know I can kiss that idea of planning things goodbye since I'm about to marry the military but it's still rather tough to get used to. I know Jimmy is worth all of this, I know that no one could make me happier than he does and there's no one else in the world that I'm more proud of for him being so strong, brave, and fearless. I love him and I'm sure adapting to this type of lifestyle gets easier as time goes on.
I'm swamped with school, projects, homework and a full time job but I plan on starting my Military Chicken Soup book later tonight and I'm hoping that reading it will add to the encouragement and support that I've found in new military friends.
Until next time <3
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